INT: Bathroom Bath Tub – Day
Glen and Roger are in the bathtub smoking weed.
GLEN BLUNT: Rasta Man sold us swag. Look like izzy, smell like izzy, but ain’t no high. Damn we shoulda took dem sticks and stems.
ROGER CHRONIC Maybe it’s just past it’s expiration date. Let’s get out here I’m wrinkly.
Roger stands up, we get a shot of a his wrinkly ass. Glen notices Roger’s head is three times its normal size.
GLEN BLUNT What’s wrong with yo head, bro?
Roger covers his johnson.
ROGER CHRONIC I’m just a little wrinkled is all.
Roger looks at Glen who’s eye’s looks like a large insect.
ROGER CHRONIC Um, Glen, I think you may need to see an eye doctor.
GLEN BLUNT Oh no bro.
The lights flicker, wind blows violently, and water bubbles. Glen and Roger eyes both roll back in their heads as they begin an ultimate drug induced trip. Then all goes black.
MARY J. BAKER Wake up you lil trouble makers.
Roger and Glen shake the cob webs out. Awaking to a beautiful scantaly clad green flesh mature woman standing before them.
ROGER CHRONIC Who are you?
GLEN BLUNT Damn you fine. I hit dat, right?
MARY J. BAKER You’re a nasty lil stoner, aren’t you? I came home with you both. I’m Mary J. Baker, nice to make your acquaintance.
GLEN BLUNT We must of to’ that up R.C, but I wish I membered it.
ROGER CHRONIC Does this mean I’m a man now!?
GLEN BLUNT Bro if we hit dat we mo than men.
ROGER CHRONIC I don’t feel different, but…
MARY J. BAKER Look you two horny toads, nobody hit anything. You requested my services, so I’m here to help.
GLEN BLUNT I requested some booty, so when do we get started?
MARY J. BAKER Glen honey, although you are sexy than a mo fo, I have other plans for you. Save that energy, you’re going to need it.
ROGER CHRONIC Mrs. Baker?
MARY J. BAKER Call me M.J. Roger. What do you desire handsome?
GLEN BLUNT He wants some booty too.
ROGER CHRONIC Glen!
GLEN BLUNT Booty equal man, jus sayin.
MARY J. BAKER So Roger, you desire to be a manly man?
ROGER CHRONIC Yes, I do indeed.
MARY J. BAKER We’ll fellas today is your lucky day. I just happens to know how to make your every desires come true. Stick with me kiddo’s and you’ll go far.
ROGER CHRONIC When do we get started.
MARY J. BAKER Slow down champ. I’ve been bottled up for sometime now and I’m ready to have some fun.
GLEN BLUNT Yeeeaahh! but I ain’t got no condoms though.
MARY J. BAKER Condoms are for pussies. You two aren’t pussies are you?
Roger and Glen shake their heads no furiously.
MARY J. BAKER (CONT’D) We’ll then, we are on our way to claiming your manhood gentlemen. Can one of you unzip me please?
ROGER CHRONIC Huh?
MARY J. BAKER My zipper sillies. Unzip my dress.
GLEN BLUNT I got this bro.
Glen gulps and starts to unzip Mary’s dress hastily.
MARY J. BAKER Slow down Romeo. Take your time unwrapping treats.
Glen zips the dress down slowly until it falls to the floor. They both stare at Mary’s naked green luscious backside.
MARY J. BAKER (CONT’D) Where’s the shower?
Glen points to the shower curtain.
GLEN BLUNT Ova there.
Mary sniffs the air.
MARY J. BAKER Smells like you boys could use a shower too. Care to join me?
ROGER CHRONIC Uh, I don’t know.
Glen is taking off his shirt.
GLEN BLUNT Hell yeah!
MARY J. BAKER Come on Roger it’ll be no fun without you.
INT. ROGER AND GLEN SHOWER – AFTERNOON
Glen, Roger, and Mary are in the shower. Mary is bathing while Glen and Roger watch with wide eyes at the back of the shower. Roger is still wearing pants and Glen is in his underwear. Mary turns to face the boys. Glen stares at her chest, Rogers looks away in shame.
MARY J. BAKER If we are to have any fun, you two need to lighten up.
GLEN BLUNT I can’t get my swerve on with anotha johnson in da room.
MARY J. BAKER Hand me a towel Roger.
Roger reaches out grabs a towel. He hands it to Mary without taking his eyes off the ceiling.
ROGER CHRONIC Here you go M.J.
MARY J. BAKER Thank you Roger.
Mary turns off water and dry’s off.
MARY J. BAKER (CONT’D) Now wasn’t that refreshing? We all smell better and now it’s time to party!